Sunday, May 10, 2015

Blog Post #12

As I sit and write this blog post thinking about my project, I feel like a failure. I downright failed. I wanted to do something amazing and make a difference, but that was not the case in the end. Everyone tells me that it's the fact that I kept trying is what counts, but in my mind, it's the end result. I know I shouldn't do that, but that's just the person I am. My failure has been haunting me for the past weeks and it's been eating away at my soul. There are so many things I wish I would have changed looking back on it all and I would re-do this experience if I could. I felt like I have wasted a whole year on doing nothing but exchanging emails. I felt like I have failed Caroline and Mr. P. They both had such high hopes and I did as well, and it was my connection at the hospital that we were working with and when none of that panned out I felt like the blame rested on me, but in a way I also wonder what could I have done differently? We were always waiting for the hospitals response. Maybe I could have contacted more places for the group and I could have taken matters into my own hands instead of  letting our fate rest with one person. I think I had tunnel vision when doing this project, I thought it could only be at St. John's and no where else. I think if I would have expanded our options more, then I might not have failed. I guess when wrapping this up I just want to say sorry to everyone that I let down, I really wanted this to work too.