Sunday, May 10, 2015

Blog Post #12

As I sit and write this blog post thinking about my project, I feel like a failure. I downright failed. I wanted to do something amazing and make a difference, but that was not the case in the end. Everyone tells me that it's the fact that I kept trying is what counts, but in my mind, it's the end result. I know I shouldn't do that, but that's just the person I am. My failure has been haunting me for the past weeks and it's been eating away at my soul. There are so many things I wish I would have changed looking back on it all and I would re-do this experience if I could. I felt like I have wasted a whole year on doing nothing but exchanging emails. I felt like I have failed Caroline and Mr. P. They both had such high hopes and I did as well, and it was my connection at the hospital that we were working with and when none of that panned out I felt like the blame rested on me, but in a way I also wonder what could I have done differently? We were always waiting for the hospitals response. Maybe I could have contacted more places for the group and I could have taken matters into my own hands instead of  letting our fate rest with one person. I think I had tunnel vision when doing this project, I thought it could only be at St. John's and no where else. I think if I would have expanded our options more, then I might not have failed. I guess when wrapping this up I just want to say sorry to everyone that I let down, I really wanted this to work too.

1 comment:

  1. Part of growing is understanding that things are not going to always happen the way we want them. You have learned so much from this experience and tried to do something that mattered. Too many people sit back and say that something is not possible. You went after something and did not not let me down. I'm proud of everything you tried to do and feel lucky to have had you in class to try something this great. Keep your head up. You are going to do great things ahead.